Why don’t people consider their audience?
I get that we all have issues, but I am the LAST person you want to bitch to when, for example, you have two adults to rely on for resources and support and I only have myself.
Or when you have only yourself to take care of, not another human being 100% reliant on you, as well.
Or you only have one reliant on you, whereas I have more than one.
Or when you have JUST work or JUST school to worry about (or even more so, neither) and I have both.
Or worse, your problem is a direct result of a conscious choice you’ve made, as opposed to many of my most dire situations, which are a result of outside influence.
I honour the fact that you are struggling and I wish you the best and I wish I could wave a magic wand and solve it for us all.
But I am the wrong person to be sharing your struggle with at the moment, because–and I know you’ll hate this–I’ll only listen and be envious of how truly elementary your problems seem compared to mine (IMHO).
Flippantly throwing out, “Well that’s easy! You just need to____________,” without suggesting a how to execute or implement such a solution, or being available yourself to help me execute or implement such a plan, or suggesting something that may be easy for you, but near impossible for me because you didn’t bother to really look at the reality of my situation before you made the suggestion… please don’t do that.
Definitely don’t ask for my advice and then when I give it, complain that because my solution is radically different than yours, I must be calling you an “idiot.” *Your solution,* which hasn’t been working, or you wouldn’t be asking for my advice in the first place.
It’s only idiotic if you belligerently try to defend your idiocy to the person whom you’ve asked to help you identify and do away with said idiocy.
It also adds to my stress exponentially, because now I’m not only worried about my problems, I’m worried about yours as well and am at an even lesser capacity to deal with anything at all.
I get frustrated, because I can see where people go wrong and wish I could just step into their lives and solve their problems for them, so that they’re not feeling so overwhelmed that they might be able to turn around and help me, for a change.
When I say “help,” I don’t necessarily mean solve my issues. More often than not, I’m just looking for some outside perspective; coming at a problem from a different angle helps me big time.
Perhaps it just means you listen and support my process in solving my own problems. Maybe it means you can think of a way to relieve my stress a little, so I’m just that much better equipped to fix shit myself.
Just please: don’t answer my cry for help with your own cry for help and don’t avoid answering altogether, because you *think* you can’t help me.